Funny Phrases 1
Posted on May 4, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Phrases |
About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.
He’s that useless he couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.
She’s been up and down more times than a whore’s drawers.
She’s been engaged more times than a telephone switchboard!
He’s tighter than a photo finish.
He’s sweating more than a Dog in a restaraunt.
He’s got a head balder than a baby’s arse.
He’s got the dress sense of an Oxfam model.
He’s got a nose like a blind carpenter’s thumb.
Last time I saw a face like that it was hanging at the Hunter’s Lodge.
As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat.
It’s colder than a penguin’s bollocks.
She’s got a face like a picture - it needs hanging.
You’ve got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier.
She’s had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
As rare as a Blonde virgin.
I’ve seen more hair on a billiard ball.
He’s as camp as a row of tents.
He’s got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure.
Whiter than a pair of Snow White’s knickers.
About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.
They’ve got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump.
I’ve seen better teeth on a worn out gear box.
They call her ‘The radio station’ cuz she’s so easy to pick up.
As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium.
You could park a bike on that bum.
He’s as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank.
As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition.
She’s angrier than a Bear with a sore head.
She’s dressed up like a Dogs dinner.
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I thought it was “Sweating more than a dog in a CHINESE restaraunt.” Just saying…