Weird Things about Me

Posted on May 21, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Text |

13 Weird Things about Me

1. I use a fake name in Starbucks because it makes me laugh.

2. While I?m waiting for my overpriced latte, I?ll read the horoscopes. Mine, Taurus, is usually the most boring, so I?ll adopt a different sign for the day. I love my Scorpio days the best.

3. I don?t wear underwear and I have lousy short-term memory. I sometimes keep panties in my purse, in case I go shopping for jeans, but then I forget about them. There are now way too many people who?ve unintentionally and undeservedly seen my undies.

4. When I caught my ex with his mistress, I went on goodvibes.com and ordered all their top-selling vibrators. I?d always had a phobia about sex with machinery (what if it shorts and catches fire while it?s near my hoo hoo?). But I figured I was never going to trust a man enough to have sex with one ever again. Thankfully, I was wrong but now I?ve got this closet full of vibrators?.

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