Why Nice Guys Suck

Posted on May 21, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Text |

Why Nice Guys Suck ??

So I?m dating a nice guy now and it SUCKS. No other way to explain it, it just SUCKS. He?s no challenge. He agrees with everything I say. He?s got it all though - a decent job, a nice house, no kids, no psycho ex-wives, and he?s tall and cute. Anyone ever seen that Friends episode when Alec Baldwin played Phoebe?s boyfriend?? YEAH, my boyfriend is THAT nice. He?s just too fucking nice. Nice is boring. I?ve never heard him raise his voice. He?s never aggressive. He has no edge. He won?t even drive over the speed limit and that fucking annoys the shit out of me, yet I sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut? watching everyone whiz by us.

And don?t get me started on the sex. Oh, excuse me? making love. After he cums (note I didn?t mention anything about ME cumming), he rolls over and says ?Oh, that was nice? with a little sigh. I KID YOU NOT, he says it EVERY TIME and then he sighs like he has just woken from a refreshing nap. I finally got so tired of missionary and him looking lovingly into my eyes and smiling as he came, that I threw him down on the couch one night and mounted him. At first he was terrified - yes, TERRIFIED. He thought something had possessed me. And it HAD ? it was sheer MADNESS. I fucked the shit out of him that night. And then he sighed and said ?Oh, that was nice?.

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