There was a boy who took a 100 dollar note from his dad’s wallet & his sister see’s him.later his sister asks if she can watch tv with him & the brother says no go away.
So the sister says I’ll tell dad about the hundred dollar note and he says fine.the boy is in the shower & his sister walks in.His sister says can i shower with you he said no go away.so she said i’ll tell dad about the hundred dollar note so he said fine just don’t look down.the sister looks down and said who’s that.He said that’s mr.hairy.the boy goes to bed and the sister walks in and said can i sleep with you.He said no go away so his sister said i’l tell dad about the 100 dollar note.he said ok fine.in bed sister said can i play with Mr.Hairy he said no go away.so his sister said i’ll tell dad about the 100 dollar note so he said fine.the boy wakes up the next morning in hospital, he asked his sister why am i in hospital.his sister said i was playing with mr.Hairy then he spat at me so i bit him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was this girl and she was walking home from school when 2 boys said “Climb up that tree and i will give you $20″ then when she got home she yelled “hey momm i got $20 from 2 boys because i climbed up a tree.” “thats good honey” and she did the same thing the next day and said to her mom “i got $20 again” .you know that there only doing that to look at your nickers.
and she did it again .
“do you remember what i told you” said her mom.
Yeah i outsmarted them i took my nickers off….
Tony slept over his friends house, his friend said “lets go to a party”
Tony:”i dont have any clothes”
Friend:”dont worry i lend you some of mine”
so tony borrowed his friends clothes and went to the party.
there was a girl who saw tony’s shoes and said “this man has a big chili”
so she went up to him and they made friends, went home and did the nasty.
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”
His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”
A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.
He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don’t let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”
Looking up websites on infertility, I found an address that sounded interesting. I clicked on the link and was taken to a site that said, “This page is under construction.”
I looked closer and saw in smaller print: “Check back in nine months and see what we’ve accomplished.”
A Lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. “Hello mate” says St. Peter, “I’m sorry, no Lawyers in heaven.” “What?” exclaims the man, astonished. “You heard, no Lawyers.”
“But, but, but, I’ve been a good man”, replies the Lawyer. “Oh really”, says St. Peter. “What have you done, then ?” “Well” said the guy, “Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa”.
“Oh” says St.Peter. “anything else?” “Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless.” “Hmmm. Anything else?” “Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans.”
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
Maury and Pauly, in their younger years, went to the county fair and slipped into the hoochy-coochy show, where the ecdysiast was just beginning to “dare all to bare all.”
“Uh-oh,” said Pauly, “I’m gettin’ outta he’e!”