Horrific Accident
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and
was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began.
I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I served to the right and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
Blondes and Genie
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 5 Comments
Three unemployed blondes were out shoppping one day when they found an oil lamp in an antique store.
Together they began rubbing it and miraculously,a genie appeared. ‘I will grant you as much intelligence as you desire, ’said the geni.
‘Wow, ’said the first blonde ‘i would like to be ten times smarter then I am now,’and in a flash the genie granted her the wish.
The next day then blonde got a job as a teacher.
‘Hmmm said the second blonde.I would like to be twenty times smarter. Your wish is my command said the genie as he blinked his eyes and granted her wish. The next day she found a job as a nuclear physicist.
Well said the third blonde.I would like thing the way they are now.I dont have to go to a job and think all the time…if anything i would rather be ten times dumber right ok said the genie and The next day she woke up and found she was a man..
Going to California
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 15 Comments
There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later Read more
Stupid Married Blonde
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 8 Comments
There was a married blonde who was very concerned about her stupidity to her husband, so she decides to make it up to him by painting the house while he’s at work.
Best Results
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 2 Comments
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
New Sports Car
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 3 Comments
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she’s smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a Read more
Game Of Intelligence
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 2 Comments
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Blonde Contest
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 4 Comments
A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.
On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, “What is 59 + 2?”
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, “57?”
The rest of the blondes said, “Give her another chance, give her another chance!”
Then they asked, “What is 15 - 5?”
Two Tourists
Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 8 Comments
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Read more