Red Ears
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh Dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But. what happened to your other ear?” “The son of a bitch called back.”
One Eyed Blonde
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, ?Look at that dog with one eye!?
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, ?Where??
Ventriloquist
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!” The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little shit on your knee.”
The Diet
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 40 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.” “From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.” No, from skipping.”
Mother Daughter
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they’re moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was brunette, and the other had black hair.
So one night, the moms are all sitting around talking, and the Brunette says, ”I found a cigarette butt in my daughters trash can, I can’t believe she smokes.”
The mom with Black Hair looks over and says, ”Well, I found a beer bottle in my daughters trashcan I can’t believe she drinks.”
Then the blonde thinks for a moment and says, ”I found a condom in my daughters bed, I can’t believe she has a dick.”
Blonde and Deodorant
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | 1 Comment
A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.
“Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” says the blonde, “I will go and get it.”
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”
Broken Bones
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctor she’s broken every single bone in her body. “That’s impossible!” says the doctor.
The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!” She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!” Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!” Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, “See, I told you I broke every bone in my body.”
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. “Well, miss,” he tells her, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven’t broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you’ve broken your finger.”
Mature Blonde
Posted on May 17, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mummy, Mummy,” she yelled. “We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!” “Very good,” said her mother. “Is it because I’m blonde, Mummy?” “Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. “Mummy, Mummy,” she yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!” “Very good,” said her mother. “Is it because I’m blonde, Mummy?” Yes, pumpkin, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mummy, Mummy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. “Very good,” said her embarrassed mother. “Is it because I’m blonde, Mummy?” “No… it’s because you’re 25.”
