Drinking Codes
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes, Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the
sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated
code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says,
“Hey give me an ML.” The bartender nods his head and hands
her a Miller Lite.
Following her, the redhead walks up to the bartender and says,
“I’d like a BL.” Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a
Bud Lite.
Last, the blonde walks up to the bartender and says, “Give me
a Fifteen.”
“A Fifteen?” the bartender replies, “What the hell is that?”
“Oh, you know,” the blonde says, “A Seven and Seven.”
Buying Flowers
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A BLONDE and a brunette are walking past a flower shop.
The brunette sees her boyfriend inside and says: “Oh no, my boyfriend is inside buying me flowers again.”
The blonde asks: “Why is that so bad?”
The brunette says:”Every time he buys me flowers, he expects something in return and I don’t feel like spending the entire weekend with my legs in the air.”
The blonde asks:”Why, don’t you have a vase?”
Blonde Guts
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, “I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But with the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them back in.”
Blonde And Chimps
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 2 Comments
A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde’s car and asked, “Are you going to Sydney?”
“Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”
“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to Taronga Park Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you fifty dollars for your trouble.”
No Exit
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 6 Comments
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.
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Blonde on Blonde
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
“What does it look like?” she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said.
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A Visual Joke
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
(This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual
first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it)
Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also
stretched wide open.
Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG LIKE THIS!!!!
Commiting Suicide
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 2 Comments
A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You put it around your neck!” The blonde replied, “I tried that but I couldn’t breathe!”
