Without a Horn
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
Judi went to a “Dude Ranch” on vacation. The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.
Judi asked what the difference was.
“Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.”
“Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think
we’ll run into too much traffic out here.”
51 Days
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around
the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”
Burnt Blonde Ears
Posted on July 21, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes, Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears are burnt. “’Sit down and tell me how it happened,” says the doctor. “Well,I was ironing my clothes when I received a call and instead of picking the phone I picked up the iron and burnt my ear.”“’But that’s one ear - what about the other?”“The guy called again!”
Blonde and Horse
Posted on July 13, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A pretty blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
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State Capitals
Posted on July 8, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 2 Comments
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, “go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.”
A red head said, “ O.K., what’s the capital of Wyoming? ” The blonde replied, “ Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’. ”
Window Pain
Posted on July 8, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kinds. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.
Hellloooo? Now just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I’m automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year… namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo”? (I told him). “It’s been a year”!
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so finally I just hung up…. He hasn’t called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won’t underestimate a blonde anymore. Heh.
Depressing Blonde
Posted on July 8, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A blonde was standing in front of a pop machine. Her boyfriend looks over and hears her screaming at the machine…
“You’re a dumb-looking button!” “You don’t have much of a future, either!” “You’re going to be replaced by a much better looking button!” “I’ve got better looking buttons than you in my dresser drawer!”
Thinking she flipped her lid, her boyfriend walks over to see what the fuss is about.
“What in the heck are you doing?” her boyfriend asks.
The blonde quickly points to the sign on the front of the machine that reads… “DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE”.
Blonde Redhead Contest
Posted on June 3, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said, “No. A bet’s a bet. You won the money.” So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”The blonde replied,… “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”
