Blonde Visits Barber
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde walked into a barber shop with her headphones on. The barber said, “You have to take your headphones off so I can cut your hair.”
The blonde said, “I can’t.”
The barber said, “Ok, I’ll cut around your hair until I get to the headphones then you’ll have to take them off.”
So the barber cut around the blondes hair until he go to her headphones.
He said, “You have to take your headphones off so I can cut your hair.” “I can’t.” said the blonde.
So the barber took off the blondes headphones and she died.
The blonde died because the headphones were saying “Breathe in, Breathe out.”
Two Sisters and a Bull
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
10 Blonde Inventions
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
1. Water-proof towel.
2. Solar powered flashlight.
3. Submarine screen door.
4. A book on how to read.
5. Inflatable dart board.
6. A dictionary index.
7. Ejector seat on a helicopter.
8. Powdered water.
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair.
10. Water-proof tea bag.
Blonde Fishing
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, “What are you doing out there?”
The blonde in the wheat field replies, “Fishing.”
Blonde #1 says, “It’s blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid. If I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your butt.”
Blonde Pilot
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in.
Three Blondes and Brunette
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
There are three blondes and a brunette. They are hanging off of a rope from a cliff and the rope is about to break. Somebody has to jump. After awhile of thinking, the brunette decides that she is going to jump. She gives a long speach about her life, and the blondes clapped!
Dirty Christmas
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
5. I know when you’ve been bad or good … so let’s skip the small talk, sister!
6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.
The Blonde Kidnapper
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I`ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying, “I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”
Silver Haired Old Lady
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Blonde Jokes | Leave a Comment
The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.
“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.
The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.
The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?
“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”
