Free Travel
Posted on August 14, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | 2 Comments
A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in the hangar at JFK New York. It’s fogged in and they have nothing to do.
One of them says to the other, “Man, have you got anything to drink?”
Beer Troubleshooting Chart
Posted on July 30, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
SYMPTOM…FAULT…ACTION
Feet cold and wet.
Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
Feet warm and wet.
Improper bladder control.
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
Drinking Codes
Posted on July 22, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes, Funny Blonde Jokes | 1 Comment
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the
sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated
code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says,
“Hey give me an ML.” The bartender nods his head and hands
her a Miller Lite.
Following her, the redhead walks up to the bartender and says,
“I’d like a BL.” Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a
Bud Lite.
Last, the blonde walks up to the bartender and says, “Give me
a Fifteen.”
“A Fifteen?” the bartender replies, “What the hell is that?”
“Oh, you know,” the blonde says, “A Seven and Seven.”
Drinking Buddies
Posted on July 21, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend. And as fate would have it, Shawn would be the first to pass. Pat, hearing of his friend’s illness, came to visit his dear friend one last time. “Shawn,” said Pat, “can you hear me?” Faintly, Shawn replied, “Yes, Paddy, I can.” Bashfully, Pat started, “Do you remember our pact, Shawn?” ”Yes, I do Patty,” Shawn strained. “And, you’ll also remember that I was to pour the contents of a fine, old bottle of whiskey over your grave, which we have been saving for, going on 30 years now?” said Pat. “Yes Patty, I do,” whispered Shawn. ”It’s a very ‘old’ bottle now, you know,” urged Pat. “And what are you gettin’ at Pat?” asked Shawn, briskly. “Well Shawn, when I pour the whiskey over your grave, would ya mind if I filter it through my kidneys first?”
Pat And Mike
Posted on July 20, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years.
After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat
“We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor?
Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave.”
Pat replied, “I would be glad to do that for you my old friend.
But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?”
Arthritis
Posted on July 20, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
McCuen stumbled out of a saloon right into the arms of Father Logan.
“Inebriated again!” declared the priest. “Shame on you! When are you going to straighten out your life?”
“Father,” asked McCuen. “What causes arthritis?”
“I’ll tell you what causes it! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling and carousing around with loose women.
How long have you had arthritis?”
“I don’t,” slurred McCuen. “The Bishop has it!”
Official Drinking Test
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a final answer.
1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she: (a) the most beautiful woman alive; (b) a beautiful woman; (c) attractive; (d) ugly as sin.
Wine with a Fly
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Drinking Jokes | Leave a Comment
A dinner party of different nationalities had arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it.
* The Swede demanded to have new wine in the same glass.
* The Englishman demanded to have new wine in a new glass.
* The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine.
