Funny Jokes

Apple Lemon and Grenade

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, “little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?” and the little girl said, “an apple came down and killed my new kitty”. Next they passed a little boy
who was also crying. And they again asked, “little boy, little boy, why are you crying?” and the little boy said, “a lemon came
down and killed my new puppy.” Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, “why are you laughing so hard?” and the blonde said, “I farted and the building behind me blew up!!”

Three Men

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Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it.
The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink.
The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks.
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Three Wetbacks

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One day there was three wetbacks trying to go to the U.S. One of the wetbacks told the other wetbacks.”Chinga We gotta learn some English” So they decided to learn the colors.

So as a week passes by the 1 wetback goes and says”I’m going to US i’m a US citizen”So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors Orange,Red,Blue.So the wetback tells him..” An orange is orange an apple is red and the sky is blue.So the officer says ok go ahead.
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Marriage Proposal

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Dear Ms. abc,
Baby, I ‘v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For
long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can
be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you, which never
produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only
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Ethical Behavior For Patients

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1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.

2. Be cheerful at all times.Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.

3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated.Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief.You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.