Funny Parrot
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One day there were three women they walked into a pet shop and a parrot shouted from the corner “pink, grey, red!”
“Thats funny” says the first women, “I ve got red knickers on!” then the second women says the same but she says that she has got pink knickers on then the third women says well ive got grey knickers on.
So the next day all three women go into the pet shop with white knickers on
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Blow Up
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Three men are wanting a job, so they go to a job center.
The 1st man(bob) walks in and says ” I m looking for a job , can you help me?”
The man says “Yeah sure, just walk outside and scream as loud as you can!” So bob goes out side and screams, he walks back and and says to the man ” Can i have a job now?” the man says “Yeah, just tell me how many letters are in the alphabet, Bob says 26, the man says ” Well done!” You’ve got a job just go and wait in the room beside me here,and i will be with you as soon as possible.
So bob goes into the room.
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A Girl
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A man was walking down the beach and he saw a girl with no arms and no legs crying, he asked the girl why are you crying.
She said, “I have never been hugged before”.
He said, “I will hug you” , so he hugs her and walks away.
Next day the man walking down the same part of the beach and he sees the girl crying, so he askes her whats wrong, she says, “I have never been kissed before”.
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Three Shots
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There was a woman that was pregnant with three triplets and she was walking past the grocery store when a robber comes out and shoots her three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to the hospital three months later she has her triplets.
Six years later one of her triplets comes up to her and says “mom I went to the washroom and a bullet came out” and she said “its a long story I’ll have to tell you later”.
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Apple Lemon and Grenade
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Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, “little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?” and the little girl said, “an apple came down and killed my new kitty”. Next they passed a little boy
who was also crying. And they again asked, “little boy, little boy, why are you crying?” and the little boy said, “a lemon came
down and killed my new puppy.” Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, “why are you laughing so hard?” and the blonde said, “I farted and the building behind me blew up!!”
Three Men
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Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it.
The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink.
The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks.
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Three Wetbacks
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One day there was three wetbacks trying to go to the U.S. One of the wetbacks told the other wetbacks.”Chinga We gotta learn some English” So they decided to learn the colors.
So as a week passes by the 1 wetback goes and says”I’m going to US i’m a US citizen”So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors Orange,Red,Blue.So the wetback tells him..” An orange is orange an apple is red and the sky is blue.So the officer says ok go ahead.
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Marriage Proposal
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Dear Ms. abc,
Baby, I ‘v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For
long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can
be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you, which never
produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only
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Ethical Behavior For Patients
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1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
2. Be cheerful at all times.Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.
3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated.Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief.You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.