Piano Jokes
Posted on August 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What key is “Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight” written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away?
A: Root position cords.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Woman having Twins
Posted on August 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins-if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.
Johnny Farts
Posted on August 24, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | 1 Comment
The teacher walks into the room and says… “OK class todays word is DEFINITLY, can anyone use the word in a sentence.”
Little Susie stands up and say “The sky is DEFINITLY blue.”
The teacher says; “Not necessarily Susie, it can be blue, gray, or black, but nice try.”
Little Johnny is in the back of the room and is waving his hands back and forth.
The teacher says ” Yes Johnny, What is it?”
Johnny says ” I have a question.”
No Ears
Posted on August 24, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | 1 Comment
A guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, “Whats the first thing you notice about me?”
The guy responds, “Why, You don’t have any ears.”
Interviewer: “Get out! Send in the next guy.”
2nd guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, “Whats the first thing you notice about me?”
The guy responds, “Why, You don’t have any ears.”
Interviewer: “Get out! Send in the next guy.”
Politicians Accident
Posted on August 23, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field.
Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, “Were they all dead?”
The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how them politicians lie.”
Nuns Discussing Drinks
Posted on August 23, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”
Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
“How do *you* know, Sister?”
“My Mother Superior told me so”
“But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”
“Don’t be ridiculous - of course I have never taken alcohol myself”
Cowboy Joe
Posted on August 21, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
“When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a worldly fellow.
“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.
“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.
“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.
“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.
“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.
Bread
Posted on August 21, 2007 - Filed Under Dirty Jokes, Funny Jokes | 2 Comments
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
