Cigar Insurance
Filed Under Funny Junk | 2 Comments
Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a box of 24 rare and very expensive cigars, insured them against… fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued, and won.
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Going To Jesus
Filed Under Dirty Jokes, Funny Junk | 4 Comments
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.
They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”
“What?” his father replied.
“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”
Otters Holding Hands
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Million Dollar Question
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Definition of Programmer
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Programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.
World War III
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Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and Powell?”
The barman said, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walked over and said, “Hello. What are you guys doing?”
Bush said, “We’re planning World War III.”
The guy asked, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Bush said, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle
repairman.”
The guy exclaimed, “Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!”
Bush turned to Powell and said, “See, I told you no one would worry about
the 10 million Afghans!”
Eye Test
Filed Under Funny Junk, Funny Tricks, Optical Illusions | 8 Comments
Note : Move 5 to 10 feet away from your computer screen and then see the picture … What do u see now ???
Special Female Medications
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Dami Toll
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 6 hours.
St. Mom’s Kort
It is a Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by making pre Schoolers unconscious for up to 2 hours.
Empty Gestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
Pepto Simbo
Liquid silicone for single women. It increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
Dumerol
When taken with Pepto Simbo, it can cause low IQ causing enjoyment of music.
Flipitork
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and flipping off other drivers.
Anti Boytiks
It is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.