Groucho Marx Quotes
Posted on June 2, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that’ll make your eyes water!
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Don’t point that beard at me, it might go off.
Funny Engineering Quotes
Posted on May 18, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
- Funny Engineering Quotes Douglas Adams -
“The road to success is always under construction”
Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS
A bridge is built for us to pass over; it is a work of utility, and which should endure. It should be in keeping with its object, solid, clean, simple, well executed without vain ornament.
- Paul Sejourne -
Aeroplanes are not designed by science, but by art in spite of some pretence and humbug to the contrary. I do not mean to suggest that engineering can do without science, on the contrary, it stands on scientific foundations, but there is a big gap between scientific research and the engineering product which has to be bridged by the art of the engineer.
- Funny Engineering Quotes Walter G Vincenti -
Funny Life Quotes
Posted on May 11, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Life Quotes Collection
“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”
“Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.”
“Life is the only thing you can’t get out of alive.”
“May your life be like toilet paper… Long and useful.”
“Someone said to Voltaire, “Life is hard.” Voltaire replied, “Compared to what?” ”
“We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.”
“Life is full of disappointments, and I’m full of life!”
“Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.”
Funny Irish Quotes
Posted on May 11, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Irish Quotes Collection
“When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.”
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished.”
“I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
“Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.”
“Sometimes i think i am a genius. Then i realize I’ve already seen this episode of jeopardy.”
Funny Drunk Quotes
Posted on May 11, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Drunk Quotes Collection
“Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.”
“You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re a precipitate .”
“A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.”
“Everyone loves a moose. Some just don’t know it.”
“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
“By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.”
Funny Anchorman Quotes
Posted on May 9, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Anchorman Quotes Collection
“Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name’s Ron Burgundy. What’s your name?”
Ron Burgundy
“Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 per cent sure that I love you!”
Veronica Corningstone
“He’s standing in the middle of the baseline saying, “You gotta take home plate from me!” So there I go head first… ”
Champ Kind
“I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.”
Ron Burgundy
Funny Marriage Quotes
Posted on May 9, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Marriage Quotes Collection
“Before marriage a man yearns for a woman after marriage the ‘y’ is silent .”
“Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish…”
“They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.”
Mae West
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray.
Funny Movie Quotes
Posted on May 5, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Quotes | Leave a Comment
Funny Movie Quotes Collection
“Pugsley: We’re not shy!
Wednesday: We’re contagious.”
Funny Movie quotes by The Addams Family
“Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don’t hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.”
Funny Movie quotes by The Addams Family Values
” Daniel Kaffee: “And don’t wear that perfume in court, it wrecks my concentration.
Lt. Commander Jo Ann Galloway: “Really!”
Daniel Kaffee: “I was talking to Sam.” ”
Funny Movie quotes by Anonymous
