Things I Love About NYC
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Things I Love About NYC
Isn?t it ironic that on the second day of the transit strike the New York magazine is delivered to my door with the cover ?123 Reasons to Love New York Right Now??!
Let me start a Transit Strike version of this:
?___ Reasons to ?Love? a NYC Transit Strike?
1. Hipster buttcrack on the Wburg bridge
2. Hipsterettes walking in ?80?s boots on the Wburg bridge
3. Mayor Bloomberg freezing his Republican tuchus off on the Brooklyn Bridge
4. Brooklynites who can?t drive with bicyclists on the road
5. All those great 96th Street checkpoints
6. The ultra thorough coverage from all the local stations: 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 and don?t forget NY1!
Why Nice Guys Suck
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Why Nice Guys Suck ??
So I?m dating a nice guy now and it SUCKS. No other way to explain it, it just SUCKS. He?s no challenge. He agrees with everything I say. He?s got it all though - a decent job, a nice house, no kids, no psycho ex-wives, and he?s tall and cute. Anyone ever seen that Friends episode when Alec Baldwin played Phoebe?s boyfriend?? YEAH, my boyfriend is THAT nice. He?s just too fucking nice. Nice is boring. I?ve never heard him raise his voice. He?s never aggressive. He has no edge. He won?t even drive over the speed limit and that fucking annoys the shit out of me, yet I sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut? watching everyone whiz by us.
And don?t get me started on the sex. Oh, excuse me? making love. After he cums (note I didn?t mention anything about ME cumming), he rolls over and says ?Oh, that was nice? with a little sigh. I KID YOU NOT, he says it EVERY TIME and then he sighs like he has just woken from a refreshing nap. I finally got so tired of missionary and him looking lovingly into my eyes and smiling as he came, that I threw him down on the couch one night and mounted him. At first he was terrified - yes, TERRIFIED. He thought something had possessed me. And it HAD ? it was sheer MADNESS. I fucked the shit out of him that night. And then he sighed and said ?Oh, that was nice?.
Meaning of BBA
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What is the meaning of BBA?
BBA= Body Builders’ Association ?
BBA= Burmese Boedaw Association ?
BBA= Burmese Buddhists Association ?
BBA= Busy Businessmen Association ?
BBA= Burmese Business Association ?
BBA= Bad Boys of Abac ?
The actual meaning is Bachelor of Business Administration
Men are like?
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Men are like?
1. Men are like …….Laxatives ….. They irritate the s*** out of you.
2. Men are like …..Bananas …… The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like …..Weather ….. Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ……Blenders … You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ……Chocolate Bars …. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men Happier than Women
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Reasons Why Men Are Happier Than Women!
We keep our last name.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can be president.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
The world is our urinal.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
Word Scramble
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Word Scramble
GEORGE BUSH : When you rearrange the letters : HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY : : DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST : : EVIL’S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN : : BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION : : A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE : : HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES : : CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY : : IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW : : WOMAN HITLER
A Romantic Idea !
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A Romantic Idea !
“Write a song or songs for your sweetheart and sing by yourself. Then put them into a CD and give it to her. Say “I love you” at the beginning of every track.”
With songs you sang as well as your voice saying “I love you”, and every time she feels down, or miss you, she just listen to the C.D!It really helps her!
This will really help when you and your love are far apart.
Treat your Lady Right !
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How to treat your lady right!
Call her the next day.
Always laugh at her jokes.
Tell her (truthfully) that you can’t wait to see her again.
Offer her a backrub, without asking for one in return.
Call her just to say you were thinking about her.
Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she’s sick.
Write her a poem.
Bring her flowers for no reason.
Go to Work Naked
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Top 3 reasons to go to work naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.