The School Report
Posted on June 29, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.”
Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let’s call you The People. We’ll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?”
The Touching Speech
Posted on June 4, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to
carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off.
Otherwise they were all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but
then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of
the rope, because as a woman, she was used to
Ladies Night Out
Posted on June 4, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third
Short Funny Blonde Jokes
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | 1 Comment
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What’s the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Rude Jokes #3
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes, Short Rude Jokes | Leave a Comment
Elton John goes into a chemist.
“Can I have some Vaseline please?” he says to the woman behind the counter.
“Awww, sore lips?” says the woman.
“No dear, it’s for chaps”
What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Slobadan Micokyabic.
Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my arse!
I’ll have to give you some cream for that.
What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.
**********
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You’ve already told her twice.
Rude Jokes 2
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes, Short Rude Jokes | 1 Comment
What do Tony Blair and Peter Stringfellow have in common?
They both love bush.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano?
Clever Dick.
What’s pink and hard first thing in the morning?
The Financial Times Crossword.
A woman went in to a chemist and asked if they sold extra large condoms. “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” replied the shop assistant. “No, but do you mind if I wait till somebody does?”
News flash just in… A man flashed at three old ladies sitting on a bench on Clapham common… two had a stroke but the other couldn’t reach.
Rude Jokes 1
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes, Short Rude Jokes | 2 Comments
Why does the pope wear trunks in the bath?
He doesn’t like to look down on the unemployed.
Did you hear about the gay magician?
He vanished with a poof.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Short Funny One Liner Jokes 6
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
What green and runs around your garden?
A hedge
Two overweight regulars are sitting in the pub.
‘Your round’ said one, to which the other replied,
‘You can talk you fat cu*t!’
Stevie Wonder was having an interview and the interviewer asked about what it was like to be blind. He answered:
“it’s not that bad, I mean, it could be worse, I could be black!”
Why have you called your pet newt tiny?
Because he’s my newt.
Short Funny One Liner Jokes 5
Posted on May 20, 2007 - Filed Under Short Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
A bloke goes home to his wife and says, ‘I’ve won the lottery, pack your bags.’ She replies, ‘What for, winter or summer?’ ‘Anything you like,’ he says, ‘now sod off.’
My last holiday was terrible, I flew with BA.
He just kept shouting “You crazy Fool, I aint getting on no plane!”
My friend swallowed an extractor fan, he’s OK now but it took it out of him.
I broke my neck once, but to be fair I haven’t looked back since
What’s green and smells like yellow paint?
Green Paint!
