Rude Jokes #3
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Elton John goes into a chemist.
“Can I have some Vaseline please?” he says to the woman behind the counter.
“Awww, sore lips?” says the woman.
“No dear, it’s for chaps”
What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Slobadan Micokyabic.
Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my arse!
I’ll have to give you some cream for that.
What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.
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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You’ve already told her twice.
Rude Jokes 2
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What do Tony Blair and Peter Stringfellow have in common?
They both love bush.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano?
Clever Dick.
What’s pink and hard first thing in the morning?
The Financial Times Crossword.
A woman went in to a chemist and asked if they sold extra large condoms. “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” replied the shop assistant. “No, but do you mind if I wait till somebody does?”
News flash just in… A man flashed at three old ladies sitting on a bench on Clapham common… two had a stroke but the other couldn’t reach.
Rude Jokes 1
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Why does the pope wear trunks in the bath?
He doesn’t like to look down on the unemployed.
Did you hear about the gay magician?
He vanished with a poof.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.