Three Men
Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it.
The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink.
The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks.
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Three Wetbacks
One day there was three wetbacks trying to go to the U.S. One of the wetbacks told the other wetbacks.”Chinga We gotta learn some English” So they decided to learn the colors.
So as a week passes by the 1 wetback goes and says”I’m going to US i’m a US citizen”So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors Orange,Red,Blue.So the wetback tells him..” An orange is orange an apple is red and the sky is blue.So the officer says ok go ahead.
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Modern World
WITHIN this restless, hurried, modern world
We took our hearts’ full pleasure—You and I,
And now the white sails of our ship are furled,
And spent the lading of our argosy.
Wherefore my cheeks before their time are wan,
For very weeping is my gladness fled,
Sorrow hath paled my lip’s vermilion,
And Ruin draws the curtains of my bed.
Big Chili
Tony slept over his friends house, his friend said “lets go to a party”
Tony:”i dont have any clothes”
Friend:”dont worry i lend you some of mine”
so tony borrowed his friends clothes and went to the party.
there was a girl who saw tony’s shoes and said “this man has a big chili”
so she went up to him and they made friends, went home and did the nasty.
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Marriage Proposal
Dear Ms. abc,
Baby, I ‘v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For
long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can
be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you, which never
produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only
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Height of Coincidence
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
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Ways to Recognize a Company Car
1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.
4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private cars.
5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly so often.
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Error Messages
The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
*This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
*Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”
Yo Mama Poetry
Roses are red, violets are black, why’s Yo mama’s chest, as flat as her back?
Roses are red, Yo mama’s a witch, give her a quarter and she’ll be your bitch.
Roses are red, violets are gold, so get on your knees and do what you’re told!
Roses are red, I’m at the door, Yo mama has a cup saying “Change for the poor.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, Yo mama stinks, and so do you.